Torture Cookie

Torture Cookie
Flavor text	"Reusable torture"
Recharge Time	2 rooms
Item Pool	Curse Room Red Chest Treasure Room
Quality	1

Torture Cookie is an active item added in The Spitshine Update.

Effects

• On use, hurts Isaac for half a Heart of health (or a full heart in Chapter 4 onward) and gives a "torture" fortune, a Black Heart, a random Reversed Major Arcana Card, or a trinket from a themed pool.
  • Damage taken will prioritize Red Hearts first.

Loot Table

Reward	Chance
"Torture" Fortune	47%
Black Heart	33%
Reversed Major Arcana Card	17%
Trinket from the Torture Cookie Pool	3%

Notes

• If Isaac doesn't have the required Red Hearts or filled Bone Hearts, then Soul Hearts, Black Hearts, and empty Bone Hearts are taken instead.
• Most of the "torture" fortunes displayed are different from those created by Fortune Telling Machines, and typically give insulting remarks that range from humorous to demeaning.
• The "evil" Trinkets spawned by Torture Cookie follow at least one of these themes: They activate from taking damage or are related to self-harm; are related to "evil" things like Black Hearts or the devil; are "cursed" or "malicious" in some way; and are related to fortunes themselves.

Torture Fortunes

YOU ARE THROWING / YOUR LIFE AWAY DO NOT LOOK SO HURT / OTHERS / HAVE PROBLEMS TOO YOU WERE BORN WRONG YOU ARE DARK INSIDE YOU LOOK FAT / YOU SHOULD / EXERCISE MORE BLAME NOBODY / BUT YOURSELF I AM THE / TORTURE COOKIE / MWA HA HA I HATE YOU ISAAC HATES YOU MARIO HATES YOU FREDDY FAZBEAR / HATES YOU YOUR POTTED PLANTS / HATE YOU THE FIEND FOLIO / DEV TEAM HATES YOU / YOU SPECIFICALLY THE SHAMPOO / BOTTLES / HATE YOU FROGS DON'T / LIKE YOU BLOOD EVERYWHERE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE / DIE DIE DIE / DIE DIE DIE I WILL MAKE YOU SCREAM MURDER DESPAIR BOO! TODAY'S LUCKY NUMBERS: / WHO AM I KIDDING / YOU WON'T WIN YOU ARE VERY / UNLUCKY TODAY I KNOW YOUR / INTERNET HISTORY SANTA IS NOT REAL / AND JESUS DIDN'T HAPPEN YOUR FUTURE IS COLD WHO HURT YOU? YO MAMA SO UGLY / SHE MAKES ONIONS CRY THIS COOKIE WAS LACED / WITH CYANIDE / SAY YOUR PRAYERS STOP EATING COOKIES / FATSO ARE THESE TRINKETS / REALLY GONNA BE / WORTH IT? YOU HAVE DRY LIPS / DON'T LICK THEM / I KNOW YOU HAVE THEM BLOOD / BLOOD / BLOOD GOD THINKS YOU'RE / ""SPECIAL"" AN UNFORTUNATE / DEMISE AWAITS YOUR INTERESTS ARE / AS BLAND AS CRACKERS I BET YOU HAVE MORE / THAN 300 HOURS IN / THIS GAME, LOSER YOU HAD WORK TODAY / AND YOUR BOSS IS MAD THE NEXT TIME YOU / COOK, YOU WILL / BURN YOUR HAND THE NEXT TIME YOU / SHAVE, YOU WILL / NICK YOURSELF WAAAAAAAAAH / STOP CRYING THE LAST FORTUNE / BUT TWICE AS BAD THE NEXT FORTUNE / IS DEFINITELY TRUE STOP LISTENING / TO THAT ALBUM / YOU'RE NOT "DEEP" YOU'RE GOING TO DIE / TO A SPIDER YOUR CHARACTER CHOICE / IS HORRIBLE YOU WON'T FIND / BLACK CANDLE HAHAHAHA / THAT'S RIGHT / I'M LAUGHING AT YOU STOP PLAYING THIS MOD YOU WILL LIVE A / LONG, BORING, BLAND / AND NONDESCRIPT LIFE WAKE UP YOU DON'T DESERVE / TO HAVE HANDS I BET THAT HURT / REAL GOOD BET YOU LIKED / HOW THAT FELT YOU'RE GAY YOU JUST FAILED I'M THE CHAD / YOU'RE THE VIRGIN YOU'RE LIKE THE / CRYING WOJACK GUY / FROM THE INTERNET I SOLD ALL OF YOUR / FAVORITE THINGS THE HACKERS / WILL GET YOU THE TROLLS WILL WIN YOUR HATERS / ARE RIGHT YOUR FAVORITE SHOW / WILL GET CANCELLED YOUR FAVORITE GAME / IS NEVER GETTING / AN UPDATE AGAIN YOU WERE SWAPPED / AT BIRTH I FEEL NOTHING ABOUT YOU YOU BORE ME YOU'LL NEVER POP OFF YOU'RE MID YOU'RE NOT THE PROTAGONIST / YOU'RE NOT EVEN AN NPC YOU'RE GOOFY THERE'S A MONSTER / IN THE CLOSET THAT FOOD IS PROBABLY / SPOILED BY NOW I HOPE YOU GET HIT MAY ALL / YOUR BOMBS BE DUDS / AND YOUR KEYS BE SPICY YOU'RE BAD / AT VIDEO GAMES IT'S NOT HAPPENING YOU USED TO BE / WITH IT YOU LET ME DOWN / AGAIN ISN'T THERE SOMETHING / YOU FORGOT? YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN / SOMETHING IMPORTANT I HOPE YOU / RUIN YOUR ROAST I HOPE YOU HAVE / A FORGETTABLE / LUNCHEON HAVE A ROTTEN DAY YOU'LL ALWAYS / COME IN LAST PLACE RAGEQUIT, I DARE YA / MAKE US BOTH HAPPY WHAT IS YOUR / MAJOR MALFUNCTION YOU CAN'T MOD / YOUR PROBLEMS AWAY GOD ISN'T CRUEL / SHE JUST HATES YOU THERE'S A PEBBLE / IN YOUR SHOE THE BEDBUGS / WILL BITE YOU YOU HAVE LICE IS YOUR FRIDGE RUNNING? / BETTER GO CATCH IT THEY'LL SEND YOU / TO A HOME NICE BLOOD TYPE / LOSER NICE PRONOUNS / NERD NICE PHONE NUMBER / IDIOT / I LIKE THE ZEROES YOU WILL NEVER / FIND THAT ONE GIF YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER / WILL DO SOMETHING BAD YOUR FAVORITE WRITER / IS A HACK THEY'LL NEVER ACCEPT / YOUR IDEAS YOUR SHOELACES / ARE UNTIED ONE SIZE FITS ALL / EXCEPT FOR YOU HOW MANY MODS / HAVE *YOU* MADE? I SLEEP IN A BIG / BED WITH MY WIFE / WHAT ABOUT YOU? YOU WILL GET ZERO / WACKY SYNERGIES YOU'LL NEVER / HIT THAT STRIKE CRY SOME MORE / COWARD YOU SHOULD HAVE / GONE TO BED / AN HOUR AGO YOU WILL MISS / BOSS RUSH / BETTER HURRY, LOSER YOUR NEXT PILL / WILL BE GOOD / (LYING) YOU WOULDN'T / SURVIVE / THE SIMPSONS THERE'S A BOMB / IN YOUR HOUSE YOU'RE SUCH A BABY YOU SUCK / AT PUZZLES YOUR EARS ARE DIRTY I WIN / YOU LOSE GO BACK TO REDDIT NERD! DORK! GEEK! LOSER! I BET YOU'RE / IN THE CHESS CLUB NO SHIRTS / NO SHOES / NO SERVICE I'M NOT SORRY I LOVE YOU / ...JUST KIDDING A METEORITE / WILL HIT YOU YOU SHOULD TURN / TO A / LIFE OF CRIME SPANKETY / SPANKETY / SPANKETY THERE ARE / MOTHS IN YOUR / PANTRY YOUR CONTROLLER / IS FILLED WITH / SPIDERS YOU'RE CRINGE SO FALSE / WORSTIE YOUR FAVORITE SHIP / IS IMMORAL YOUR COMFORT / CHARACTER / HATES YOU I DELETED / YOUR FAVORITE SAVE YOUR HEADCANON / IS WRONG NO YOU WILL DIE THERE IS NO GOD THERE IS NO AFTERLIFE A LOVING GOD / WOULDN'T HAVE / ABANDONED YOU EVERYONE HATES YOU I HATE YOU YOUR DOG HATES YOU YOUR CAT HATES YOU YOUR FRIENDS HATE YOU NO ESCAPE NO FUTURE YOU ARE WRONG YOUR LIFE SUCKS YOU CAN'T DO IT / GIVE UP ALREADY YOU WILL DIE / BEHIND A 7-11 YOU WILL DIE ALONE / AND POORLY DRESSED FUCK YOU THINK ABOUT THE TIME / YOU HAVE WASTED IT'S NOT THE / SYSTEM'S FAULT YOU CAN'T TAKE CARE / OF PETS OR KIDS YOU CAN'T TAKE CARE / OF PLANTS GO TO SLEEP / ...FOREVER YOU LOOKED BETTER / WITH LONGER HAIR YOU LOOKED BETTER / WITH SHORTER HAIR YOU'RE UGLY YOUR NOSE / LOOKS WEIRD YOUR NOSTRILS / ARE WEIRD YOUR EYES / LOOK WEIRD YOUR HANDS / LOOK WEIRD YOUR FEET / LOOK WEIRD YOUR WRISTS / LOOK WEIRD YOUR KNUCKLES / LOOK WEIRD YOUR NECK / LOOKS WEIRD YOUR PROPORTIONS / ARE OFF YOUR FACE / IS ASYMMETRICAL YOU HAVE A FACE / ONLY A MOTHER / COULD LOVE NOT EVEN / A MOTHER COULD / LOVE YOUR FACE YOU HAVE / SUCH AN / UGLY SMILE EVERYONE IS / NOTICING / YOUR FLAWS YOU REEK YOU LOOK OLDER / THAN YOU ARE YOU'RE SO SHORT / IT'S PATHETIC YOU SAID *THAT* / AND YOU WERE SOBER? / OUCH! I KNOW WHAT YOU DID I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE YOU ARE GOING TO / AGE AND WITHER TODAY IS NOT YOUR DAY / AND TOMORROW ISN'T / GONNA BE, EITHER YOU'RE RUNNING / LOW ON MEDS YOU MAKE AN ELEPHANT / LOOK THIN YOU MAKE A STICK INSECT / LOOK FAT YOU'RE TOO FAT / AND ALSO TOO THIN THEY KNOW I WOULD SAY / IT'S OVER BUT / YOU NEVER STARTED NEVER ONCE / DID YOU TRY WHY EVEN BOTHER YOUR NAME / DOESN'T SUIT YOU YOU'RE SUPPOSED / TO BE / SOMEWHERE ELSE PEOPLE ARE DYING / AND YOU'RE PLAYING / VIDEO GAMES? YOU'RE DONE FOR IT'S TOO LATE YOUR LIFE HAS / NO MEANING YOU HIT YOUR PEAK / YEARS AGO YOU WILL BE / FORGOTTEN THEY NEVER REALLY / WERE ON YOUR SIDE WE MADE UP / A SLUR JUST TO / INSULT YOU YOU HAVE A / MEDIOCRE ASS IDIOT YOU'LL BE WRONG / YOU'RE ALWAYS WRONG STOP SAYING SORRY STOP APOLOGIZING / LOSER YOU SHOULD BE SORRY YOU BETTER APOLOGIZE IT'S ALL GONNA / CRASH AND BURN YOUR "BUGS" WILL / NEVER GET FIXED YOU LOOK LIKE / A MISTAKE THE GOOD TIMES / WON'T LAST THIS WILL NEVER END EVERYONE IS / STARING AT YOU THEY'RE ALL / JUDGING YOU AFTER YOU DIE / IT'S JUST NOTHING / FOREVER STOP BLAMING SOCIETY GET MAD AT YOUR LOVER STOP TRYING TO COPE YOU'LL NEVER GET / THOSE YEARS BACK YOUR PARENTS / NEVER LOVED YOU YOU DESERVE TO BE / IN PAIN THERE'S A REASON / YOU DON'T HAVE FRIENDS IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT ASK YOUR BEST FRIEND / WHERE YOUR PARTNER IS THAT'S NOT YOU / IN THE MIRROR YOU'RE NOT / WHO YOU THINK / YOU ARE ARE YOU REALLY / YOURSELF? YOU'RE SUPPOSED / TO BE / SOMEONE ELSE YOU HAVE ZERO / REDEEMING QUALITIES YOU HAVE CHANGED / AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY YOUR SURGERY / WILL GO WRONG TAKE MORE DRUGS YOU DESERVE / TO GET BULLIED A FEW SECONDS / CLOSER TO DEATH YOU'RE NOT WORTH IT YOU WERE A MISTAKE DON'T HAVE CHILDREN DON'T BE YOURSELF / IT'S EMBARRASSING YOU'RE NEVER / GONNA MAKE IT HOW MANY MORE / YEARS OF THIS